In a world of constant change, there’s one immutable truth we all share: our inevitable encounter with death. Despite its universal presence, fear of mortality abounds, subtly shaping our lives and decisions. Through yoga and mindfulness, we discover ways to confront the fear of death, unlocking a profound sense of peace & purpose in our existence.
There are few things we can count on in this lifetime. The people and places we love will change, leaders will continue to rise and fall and Taylor Swift or Kanye West may yet be president. But there is one indisputable fact that cannot be called into question — the inevitability that we are going to die.
Death is the one experience every living creature shares in our otherwise unique existences. This knowledge should unite us, bringing presence and gratitude to every moment we are privileged enough to have. But it is not so. Although every individual feels differently about their death, many of us live in unconscious terror; all manner of anxiety and fear springing from the inescapable reality we face. Without realising it, fear of death may be the very thing preventing us from truly living.
Running away from our mortality may have us racing in the wrong direction, on the fast track to unhappiness, wasting the fleeting and valuable time we have in this life by trying to avoid the one thing we simply cannot. Instead, we could stop in our tracks, face our fate and ultimately walk the incredible path of our life in an eternal state of wonder, peace and happiness.
Even the wise fear death
Yoga Sutra 2.9 – Svarasavahi-Vidusah-Api-Tatha- Arudhah-Abhinivesah
It’s completely reasonable to not want to die. This fear is part of the human condition, a natural and healthy concern to have. In 2:9 of the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali tells us even the wise fear death. Clinging to life is one of the main obstacles to the experience of yoga.
Psychology point of view
“The more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety.” Irvin D. Yalom, Professor of Psychiatry, Stanford University.
From a psychology perspective, grappling with the concept of death is an intrinsic part of the human experience. Research into this phenomenon, known as death anxiety, has shed light on its effects, with social psychological theories offering valuable insights into its ramifications. One such concept — terror management theory — describes how we strive to imbue our lives with significance and achievement to alleviate the looming spectre of mortality, ensuring that we make the most of our time on this earth. This existential pursuit often has a positive effect, motivating us to cherish our relationships and fulfill our potential.
However, for a significant portion of the population — between 10 to 20 per cent — the thought of death can manifest as overwhelming anxiety that permeates daily life. At its extreme, this fear coalesces into a condition known as Thanatophobia, derived from the Greek Thanatos (or death personified). Thanatophobia affects roughly 3 per cent of the population and engenders a paralysing dread of death or the dying process with detrimental mental health impacts.
Conquering fear
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha
Treatments for death anxiety include supportive talk and cognitive behaviour therapy. Such therapy is also coupled with mindfulness and yoga techniques that bring us into the present moment. Pranayama (slow, deep breathing techniques), dharana (concentration on objects) and dhyana (meditation) have been helpful in minimising anxiety around death.
The yogic perspective
“I’m not afraid of death because I don’t believe in it. It’s just getting out of one car, and into another.” John Lennon
The kleshas
In the second pada of the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali tells us that one of the five main kleshas (afflictions) creating suffering is Abhinivesha or fear of death. All our fears stem from this klesha. When you work on overcoming one of your fears you simultaneously combat your fear of death. Conversely, combating your fear of death ultimately conquers all your fears.
Remembering who you are
According to Patanjali, if we really understood who we were – prana (energy) moving through form – there would be nothing to fear. We are unchanging, limitless prana, moving through the physical world in different manifestations. The more we feel that through spiritual practice, the further along the path to yoga we are.
“For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.” Khalil Gibran
Avidya
All the kleshas, or afflictions, originate from the first — the core concept of avidya (ignorance) — or our misunderstanding of who we are. Avidya represents our fundamental misunderstanding of our true nature, the belief that we are merely confined to our physical bodies and minds. Through yogic practices, we can understand that we are boundless spiritual entities, temporarily inhabiting these physical forms and experiencing life in our unique way.
On one hand, achieving success can provide a sense of fulfillment and temporarily alleviate the fear of death. But on the other, connecting with our true essence — beyond our external identities, accomplishments and attachments — holds far greater significance. This profound self-awareness unveils our authentic nature, allowing us to transcend the limitations of the physical and mental realms.
For many, this understanding remains elusive, confined to a conceptual level beyond grasp. That’s why various approaches and alternative methods exist to help us not just comprehend but truly experience this truth at a deeper, more intuitive level.
Svhadyaya
The Gita offers many alternative methods for the yogi in training, from karma (action) yoga and bhakti (devotion) to dharma (purpose) and seva (selfless service). In addition, Patanjali gives us multiple access points like the eight limbs, which include yama and niyama (ethical practices) in the second pada (chapter) of the sutra, so we have different means to feel our true reality. Work with any one and you will foster a deeper understanding of who you are.
Develop a daily practice incorporating chanting, asana, meditation, pranayama, an anonymous act of kindness, contemplating your purpose, or simply being more honest. Study yogic texts such as The Gita and The Sutra, then practise these concepts on and off the mat to remind yourself of who you are.
Facing death
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important”. Steve Jobs
Studies suggest that despite being the 134th most developed country in the world, Bhutan is among the 20 happiest nations in the world. Their secret? The daily contemplation of death. Part of the national curriculum is to remember they are going to die, which children undertake around three times a day. Ashes of the dead are mixed with clay and made into miniature pyramids, the arts use death as a central theme and funerals go for 21 days. Remembering our death may help us live without fear.
Contemplate and be practical
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” Marie Curie
For some of us, reflecting on our deepest fears surrounding death may uncover concerns about who and what we leave behind. If this is the case, taking practical steps to ensure your loved ones are supported after you’re gone can bring peace of mind. As a parent, I took proactive measures early on, cultivating a strong network of family and friends to surround my son with love and support. Additionally, I prioritised organising my finances to provide for his future needs.
For some of us, reflecting on our deepest fears surrounding death may uncover concerns about who and what we leave behind. If this is the case, taking practical steps to ensure your loved ones are supported after you’re gone can bring peace of mind. As a parent, I took proactive measures early on, cultivating a strong network of family and friends to surround my son with love and support. Additionally, I prioritised organising my finances to provide for his future needs.
“Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.” Socrates
For others, contemplation could reveal it is fear of not having lived well. Perhaps we are unclear of our deeper purpose, have regret about not doing things we always dreamed of or feel unsatisfied in our career. This is why the Gita speaks about the importance of dharma. Take time to understand your purpose. Plan things that bring you joy and do them. Live your life on purpose.
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Conscious death
“To the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure.” J.K. Rowling
The Gita explains the importance of a conscious death and gives instructions on how to do so. It says whatever we place our mind on while dying, we will move towards. It’s why focusing on the divine or something greater than yourself is so important in the yoga lineage. Rather than our last moments being filled with fear, yoga suggests we focus on something peaceful. It is also said that chanting “Om” while leaving this life enables enlightenment.
The mindfulness approach
“The more you live in the present moment, the more the fear of death disappears.” Eckhart Tolle
Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory proposes that as we age, we ultimately arrive at a juncture marked by either “ego integrity” or “despair”. If we can look back on our lives with a sense of fulfillment, wisdom and acceptance, embodying qualities such as accomplishment and wholeness, we are said to have achieved ego integrity. Conversely, if our reflections are tainted with regret, shame and bitterness, we may find ourselves mired in despair. Research indicates that death anxiety tends to be eased in individuals who have attained ego integrity but exacerbated in those plagued by despair.
Interestingly, the tenets of yoga philosophy and mindfulness practices intersect with the attributes of ego integrity. Moreover, these practices offer a remedy for the top five regrets commonly expressed by those nearing the end of life. Living authentically aligned with our values and purpose — rather than succumbing to societal expectations — allows us to cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves beyond our physical form.
Prioritising presence and connection with loved ones guards against the remorse of neglecting relationships in favour of work. Balancing the throat chakra, speaking from a place of ahimsa (kindness) and satya (honesty), and processing emotions as they arise rather than suppressing them helps alleviate the regret of unexpressed feelings.
Fostering sangha (community), seva (selfless service) and finding balance in our lives for connection will ensure we don’t lament not staying in touch with friends. Finally, practising svadhyaya (self-study and study of the texts) to uncover and break our patterns, santosha (contentment) and using pranayama, asana and meditation to notice the transient nature of everything and build courage lets us make changes so we can allow ourselves to be happy and experience true contentment.
“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly.” Marcus Aurelius
The more we work consciously with our fear of death, the more freedom we will experience in our lives. In order to live, we must learn to die a little every day.